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BREAKING NEWS: CHELSEA SIGN BLOKE AS HE LEAVES SPORTS DIRECT WITH A PAIR OF BOOTS

With Chelsea yet to notch their first win of the season and the transfer window closing soon, the big spenders of London’s swanky Kings Road, are still out with their cheque book and pen. And, even though a record number of players have already been snapped up over the last two seasons, the new owners of Chelsea are buying anyone they can get their hands on.

This current window has proved extremely controversial with Liverpool’s Jurgen Klopp openly frustrated, accusing the West London club of gazumping other teams’ purchases. Such talk was waved away by officials at Stamford Bridge, calling the idea laughable.
But the latest purchase, Mr Richard Dixon of Walthamstow, is possibly the most surprising – especially as no other clubs had expressed interest in him. Mr Dixon was, understandably, in shock when he spoke to the local media.
“It came out of nowhere, to be fair. I’d just bought myself a pair of Puma Kings for the new season. Was heading out to my car when this guy comes up and shows me a contract. I laughed in his face coz I thought it was a joke. I knew he was serious when he told me they’d send me straight out on loan.”

