Billionaire and Mini Me lookalike, Jeff Bezos, has bought a healthy stake in Liverpool FC, one of the Premier League’s self-appointed ‘Big Six’. What does that mean for the club, the fans and, importantly, for Amazon and Bezos? Will Liverpool’s Amazon transfer deliver?
DIRECTIONALLY ACCURATE
As is the way with all Premier League purchases in the annual barn dance that is the transfer window, figures were bandied about and not stuck to. First there was talk of 30 then it went up to 40 before both parties finally agreed on 38%. Reporters queried the early figures. The Bezos party cleverly endeared themselves to the fans by saying the range of the figures had been ‘directionally accurate’. A phrase used to describe striker Darwin Nunez once.
The question that diehard Reds fans will ask is: Does Jess Bezos follow football? He was seen at the USA Belgium World Cup match in a United States shirt – a top end one, mind. None of your cheap replica rubbish ones available through some online outlets. But does he understand the game? The choice of shirt didn’t necessarily suggest he cares less about football than about his empire. But he left early and was heard to say, “Our boys only got one in the basket. Time to checkout.”
“YAY. THE GUY IN THE GLOVES JUST MADE A TOUCHDOWN!”
Liverpool fans obviously hope Jeff’s cash helps the club back to its prime. Then the team can deliver the goods very fast and not a couple of days late.
“HONESTLY, NO-ONE WILL EVEN NOTICE”
However, there are rumblings amongst some supporters, concerned that Amazon’s 38% stake in the club will ultimately lead to Bezos forcing change on the reds. Fears down the local pubs include worry that the team will be made to turn out in unnecessarily large cardboard boxes. Another rumour has it that the 1892 Holdings Group have delivered an official application to Liverpool Borough Council to change the name of the district to Amazonfield and they intend to start each match playing a heartfelt rendition of You’ll Never Walk Amazone.
