Chelsea’s kid in a sweetshop owner, Todd ‘How-Did-Someone-That-Shit-At-Doing-Business-Manage-To-Buy-Chelsea-In-The-First-Place’ Boehly, is keen to get out and is close to an agreement to sell his stake in the Blues.
His track record in player purchases and sales shows an excellent understanding of football pricing. No wonder then that he’s selling his stake in the Stamford Bridge club for £14 trillion or £69.99 – whichever’s higher. “I’ve never really understood you folk’s English money”. Not that we couldn’t have guessed that. Financial whizz-tit, Boehly has made some legendary signings. There’s pinball run-a-like Raheem Sterling, shit Joao Felix…twice (!) and, inexplicably, Mykhailo Meldonium – sorry, Mudryk.
After the Ukrainian winger signed for a staggering £89 million, people throughout the sporting world thought Boehly must be on drugs. However, it was later discovered that the person on drugs was actually Mykhailo.
