SANCHEZ ALMOST OUT OF THE PICTURE OR ALMOST BACK IN IT?
Transfer talk at Old Trafford has rocked football to its very core. In a sensational revelation just hours before taking on Spurs, the mini Man U manager revealed to the press that United are sensationally interested in buying EVERYONE. Just sensational! United manager, the baby faced, out-of-his-depth, goal-hanging hero, Only Gunna Sackyer, confirmed this earlier, “Yes, it’s true – we’ll buy anybody. We’ve got to strengthen the squad.”
BOUGHT THE WRONG SHIRT SIZE
SCOTT McSOMEBODY
“We have some truly great internationals here like Phil Jones and Fred. Oh, and that skinny, Scottish bloke who we put in midfield when no-one else is fit. But, despite all that amazing talent, we desperately need more. When asked if he was saying they would genuinely consider buying anybody, Sackyer piped, “Yes, it’s true – we’ll buy anybody. Obviously we’re in for Grealish and Ndidi but, seriously, anybody will do. Whether they’re a couple of chancers from a mid-table Italian team who are masters of football’s dark arts, or a Brazilian who no one’s ever heard of but, shit, he’s Brazilian so he must be good.”
“Or,” he went on, “even some moody French bloke who once did a fancy step-over and then went for a quick Gauloise on the touchline, we’re interested. We are desperate… desperate to strengthen the squad.” When asked if he was looking forward to getting on-loan Alexis Sanchez back from Inter Milan, Sackyer replied “Fuck off, we’re not that desperate.”
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