Pep Guardiola has declared, for the 95th time, that Man Cit-eh haven’t failed by not winning the Champions League under his stewardship.
Whilst all toasty in his chunky knit cardi, Pep’s responses when quizzed about the competition were positively frosty. Pep popped in and piped up at a press conference. He insisted, “Course I don’t care about winning the Champions League (That’ll be the 96th time). So we’ve only ever got to the quarter finals. It’s obvious I don’t care about winning it (97th) because I play Kyle Walker in defence.”
Guardiola’s also rumoured to have plans for the transfer window in which he’ll sign Lionel Messi and Jack Grealish. The aim apparently is to have Messi start the game. Then Guardiola will replace him with Grealish for the last ten minutes to show how good Messi is and get loads of soft free-kicks.
Pep told our fake source, “It’ll be a masterstroke which will ensure I win the Champions League. Er, not that I’m bothered about it (98). Honestly. Not a bit (99). Look, I’d rather win the Carabao Cup, whatever that is and whoever they are, than win the Champions League (And that’s the 100).”
