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TAKING THE MIKEL OUT OF AARON

England’s best goalkeeper and, indeed, Premier League Keeper of the Year, Aaron Ramsdale, has responded well to being unceremoniously dropped by Mikel Arteta in favour of the Arsenal manager’s countryman David Raya.

Ramdale’s chirpy rejoinder to the demotion was, “If our braindead, Captain Black look-alike gaffer thinks I’m hanging around while he plays the pointlessly on-loan David Raya, he can get stuffed.” The blonde stopper went on. “So, he thinks we need two people in every position. What about a second manager then? See how he likes that.” Since he was dropped, several clubs are keeping kept tabs on the 25-year-old shot stopper.

KEEP YOUR AARON RAMSDALE

Obviously, one of those clubs is those frittering shopaholics, Chelsea. It’s rumoured that they are looking to sign Ramsdale on a 17-year contract.

“OI, LADS – GOAL’S OVER HERE, YEAH?”

Staffordshire-born Ramsdale has already kiboshed such a move. He laughed, saying, “Can you imagine just how bad it would be if I went training with that lot. I would head out onto the training ground to practice, stand between the sticks and wait all day for one of them to finally get a shot on target.”

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