A new survey has revealed Liverpool manager, Jürgen Klopp, as the UK’s Bestest Ever German! He puts to bed the friendly UK/ Germany rivalry that meant they never let us win at penalties, never voted for us in Eurovision and, according to ancient BBC tapes, even bombed the chip shop of 70s comic, Stan Boardman’s grandad.
TOP OF THE KLOPPS
While the contest was hardly brimming with front-runners, the genial Klopp held off familiar faces like legendary Spurs goal-hanging diver, Jürgen Klinsmann, and Euro 96 semi-final puffed-up chest irritant, Andreas Möller.
DOWN AND OUT
PUFFED OUT
Tensions built as the result was delayed when another contender, Arsenal playmaker Mesut Özil, went missing. But ultimately, Klopp was a worthy winner, the survey listing the Liverpool manager’s many qualities, including: having Norbert as a middle name, being able to carry off wearing a baseball cap despite being 52 and being in possession of excellent set of over-whitened teeth which first drew Roberto Firmino to the club.
JURGEN CHOPS
Upon claiming this prestigious title, Klopp said, “It’s such an honour to be recognised by a country I respect so much. For sure, there’ll be an open-top bus parade through the city – just as soon as I get hold of a reliable German bus. I can’t have a British bus that’ll blow up five minutes after leaving the garage.”
Hi Simon. Not sure if you’re talking about Mr Klopp or our fantastical drivel but thanks all the same!
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Glorious
Hi Simon. Not sure if you’re talking about Mr Klopp or our fantastical drivel but thanks all the same!
If you fancy getting more of the same delivered to your inbox, come back to the website and subscribe. It’s FREEEE!
If you don’t, just tell all your football-loving mates they should!
Cheers
TW
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